Reactive vs. Proactive

By: Coach Vince

“I Can’t”

The worst 4 letter word in our vocabulary. Has that word ever come into your thoughts or even worse said it out loud? Your language says a lot about who you are and how you think. Your actions begin with your words and words begin with your thoughts. Are you someone who is proactive or reactive with your thoughts? Considering most people aren’t mind readers, your words often paint a clear picture on what your thoughts are. Here are some examples of what a reactive vs. proactive person language sounds like.


  • “There’s nothing I can do.”
  • “That’s just the way I am.”
  • “I have to do that.”
  • “They make me so mad.”
  • “I can’t”


  • “Let’s look at my alternatives.”
  • “I can choose a different approach.”
  • “I will choose an appropriate response.”
  • “I control my own feelings.”
  • “I will.”

A person who is reactive typically absolves themselves of responsibility and puts it on circumstances that they can’t control. The problem with thinking this way is reactive thoughts and language become self-fulfilling prophecies. This person is waiting for life to happen to them and give every excuse that they don’t have time, its someone else’s fault, or they don’t have control.

A proactive response to language allows you to always be in control, in control of yourself. Events, circumstances, people and life will all happen all around you, some good and some bad. The good news is you are not your circumstances, but rather how you respond to those circumstances determine how good or bad that event might have been. This is the person that doesn’t wait for a feeling or person or event in their life to make them feel happy. They choose every day for themselves to be happy. They choose every day to seek after the solution, not focus on the problem. They are the person that creates their life.

Whether going through a serious event in your life or going through the hundreds of daily decisions you have to make in a day, remember that your success begins with your thoughts. If you want to be happy, then decide right now that you are going to be happy, if you want to eat better than decide right now that you are going to eat better.

This mentality makes being happy more than a feeling but a CHOICE. You are in control, BE PROACTIVE!