Your Happiness Is NOT My Responsibility

By: Coach Murphy

As a coach and friend, your happiness is not my responsibility. But I would absolutely love to be a part of it.

These may feel like harsh words but they are kind and caring. If you make your own happiness the responsibility of someone else, you will only be disappointed and frustrated. Do you expect others to put gas into your car each time you fill up? Or to feed you at every meal? I suspect you do not, so why would you expect them to fulfill all your mental and emotional needs.

In the last statement, the key comes from ALL. We all need people. In some way or other, there is a need to have people in our life. Whether to fill mental, emotional or spiritual gaps. But only to fill gaps, meaning that they help provide something that cannot be fulfilled yourself. We should only be expected to give little parts of ourselves out at a time to help others, for if we try to give all of ourselves to everyone- we soon run short of supplies.

From my own personal experiences with relationships (with significant others and friends) the reality has set in that I relied heavily on others to provide happiness. It plays to the cliché that you must love yourself before you can love someone else, but it is true. Seeking confirmation of my own self through others, fishing for even the smallest of compliments was the biggest sign that I could not be happy without being fueled by others. 

What I wish for you is that you make your own happiness and self-care a priority for yourself. 

The process is slow, I only keep reminding myself that how I speak to my athletes is how I must speak to myself. Some even remind me when I have negative self-talk that I would not accept that from them or any other athlete, so why accept it from myself? I want you all to be a part of my own happiness too, but I know it must first come from myself.

Make me a part of your happiness, part of a larger collective along for your journey for happiness and fulfillment. You should be the center of that collective and the main person who is satisfying those needs leading to your happiness. 

All of your coaches here at Reviver care for you and wish to help you in your journey to a happier and fitter life. Don’t be afraid to reach out to any of us for any reason, whether you feel it be small or not. As coaches we are guides to help you.