Tears And TopGolf

By: Coach Sammie

I am afraid… of a lot of things….. heights, cotton balls (don’t laugh, its a real thing), walking in a parking lot at night, spiders, sticking my hand down the garbage disposal (because it can magically turn on all by itself, duh)… the list goes on

In the past I lived most of my life trying to avoid the things that cause fear. Or even worse, I’ve told myself the insane lie that: “I’ll just wait til I’m not afraid and then I’ll do it.”…….. like has that ever work for anyone… ever?

If you are afraid of driving let’s say… and then you never drive…. Do you think you’re going to wake up one day and magically not be afraid to get behind a wheel and control a vehicle?…… uuuhhhhh NO.

My fears have kept me from doing alot of things I’ve really wanted to do.. and they’ve also caused a fair share of embarrassment. Case in point, a few weeks ago my husband and I went on a double date with our better halves (Marcy and Jeremy Kochis) to TopGolf. We were on the 3rd floor (top floor).... please refer back to my fear of “HEIGHTS”.

It was my turn to hit the ball. The green is set up at least 8 feet away from the edge of the deck, there is also a net that goes several feet past that, just incase. But my scared a** starts trembling as I step onto the green. I’m so overwhelmed with fear that an imaginary gust of super strong wind (from nowhere) is going to catapult me through the air over several yards to my death… that I pathetically tap the golf ball causing it to barely move… and then proceed to breakdown (crying).

Yup… 31 year old adult… in a very public place…. tears running down my face…. for no rational reason what so ever.

Luckily my husband and friends are incredibly kind and tried their best not to make me feel like a total crazy person.. but I was still mortified. 

So what happened next? I went home and crawled into a whole and haven’t been seen since.

Just kidding….

With some encouragement, on the next round, I grabbed a club and slowly walked up to the green. I gave myself some reassuring inner self talk (you’re going to fine, there is no wind, you are safe, just look at the ball).. and then I hit the ball again. And while my heart rate was still pretty high, I didn’t feel like I was going to breakdown, and I stepped off the green with no tears.

We were there for 2+ hours. Which means I took about 15-20 turns. Every turn I took, I remembered the last time up. I gave myself some positive self talk. I approached the ball with determination. And every turn, I felt calmer and less afraid. By the end of the night, I had no problem approaching the ball and in fact.. I ended up taking 2nd place in our game!! 

Does this mean that my fear of heights is forever gone? No. But it proves that the only way to overcome your fears… is to FACE THEM! The more you do, the less control they have over you.

Bottomline…Don’t live your life trying to avoid the things you are afraid of because you’ll be missing out on so much. Instead face your fears head on. You might fail… and that’s ok, because every failure is a learning experience and the next time you are faced with a similar circumstance, you will know how to handle it better. But keep facing your fears, keep pushing yourself forward. Every time you do, that fear will become less and less.